


pierce the room like a cannonball

by camphollstein



Series: nothing safe is worth the drive [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/F, carmilla is truly slow, this is p much fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6081930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camphollstein/pseuds/camphollstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla is a newcomer who gets the opportunity of a lifetime- working with Lola Perry on her newest TV series, opposite the apple of America's eye, award-winning actress Laura Hollis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. and all we know is touch and go

**Author's Note:**

> i just really really love hollstein and I MISS THEM SO MUCH
> 
> anyway this is an excuse for writing clueless!Carmilla and trying to explore the softer side of her we get to see after season 2. please tell me if you think something is wrong- i'd love feedback. enjoy!

 

“You offered the role?”

 

Perry nods, still going through her notes. “This project is important to me and I know who will do it right.”

 

“You made me audition like five times!”

 

Her glare shuts Carmilla up. She gets up, papers on hand, and motions for Carmilla to follow her down the hall. “Because I didn't know you.”

 

Carmilla rolls her eyes, but accepts. Writers and their whims.

 

The backroom is filled with staff members. LaFontaine and JP, the main scriptwriters, sit by a tiny window, idly flipping over magazines with grins on their faces. Next to them, Danny talks to someone over the phone, her face pulled up into a scowl.

 

“What's wrong?” Perry asks, some level of alarm already on her voice.

 

“The studio wants to watch the test,” LaFontaine tells her. “They're sending people over.”

 

“When is she getting here?”

 

“Soon, Danny,” LaF says patiently. “Laura likes to be punctual.”

 

If this chemistry read doesn't work out, Carmilla knows she'll be out of a job. There's no way Perry will let her pet project be anything but perfect; and if the actress she's been eyeing for the main role is half as good as Carmilla suspects her to be, they'll boot Carmilla instead of her. Which, you know, wouldn't be nice, because she's grown kind of fond of this pilot.

 

She sits down on the armrest by JP, slouching forwards just a bit so she can look at what they're reading. “Is that Kirsch?”

 

“He cleans up well, I'll admit,” Danny sighs. “They wanted you, but you'd rather brood, so next best thing.”

 

“Always talking about me, Lawrence. Your obsession is getting out of hand.”

 

“But would it kill you to talk to press?”

 

Carmilla rolls her eyes. “I have no interest in interviews when I'm not able to talk about a project. I cannot spend twenty minutes discussing my workout regimen with a half-witted gossip columnist.”

 

“Also, people are eating up shirtless Kirsch.” LaFontaine points out.

 

“See? It all works out.”

 

“I'm here- sorry I'm late.”

 

LaF's reply is lost on Carmilla. She stares straight at the woman shaking out her hair- now she gets why Perry didn't want auditions.

 

She got Laura fucking Hollis.

 

Also known as the girl who won two of five Golden Globes nominations before she turned twenty-five. Who headlined one of the most profitable sci-fi series on cable TV, and just finished the press tour for Wes Anderson's latest movie.

 

And now she's here, hugging Perry, talking excitedly about her new bicycle.

 

“Hold on, let me introduce you to everyone,” Perry says, turning to face the couch. Laura's eyes find Carmilla briefly, and she feels tingling in her hands. “This is Danny, our art director, and JP - you met him at that after party, remember-”

 

“Yeah,” Laura says, nodding. “Hey. I was really looking forward to that script you ran by me.”

 

“It got pushed back,” JP shrugs. “But thank you.”

 

Carmilla stands up – hopefully more smoothly than she feels – and extends her hand as Perry introduces her. Laura smiles and shakes her hand, “I'm Laura.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The reading goes exceptionally well.

 

Carmilla gets to keep her job.

 

When the network learns of Laura Hollis' involvement, they can't seem to give them a green light fast enough. Instead of just recording the pilot, they end up with solid fourteen episodes and a very likely full season.

 

And it's strange for Carmilla, after all those weird indie films she somehow got roped into, suddenly being in a show with such famous people. Kirsch is a huge TV name and Hollis is Hollywood's sweetheart, while Carmilla has a handful of decent theater plays under her belt. But everyone has to start somewhere, she supposes, and what better way to learn than by being surrounded by talent.

 

And the pay is great too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They amass a big audience easily. Carmilla doesn't really think about it – mainly because she forgets the world outside her house sometimes – until Laura shows up one day with a screenshot of someone talking about her jawline.

 

“They love you,” Laura says, scrolling through her phone. “Look! There are blogs about your hair and everything!”

 

“Blogs? What, like LiveJournal?” she asks absentmindedly. Her marker is missing, buried somewhere under the hundreds of receipts in her bag, and she rummages through until she finds it. Then she notices Laura's wide eyes.

 

“Are you for real?”

 

Carmilla frowns. “I- what?”

 

“Tumblr blogs.”

 

“This is the part where I nod in fake understanding so that you'll leave me alone, right?”

 

Laura shakes her head with such earnestness Carmilla is worried for her neck. “Don't you use the internet?”

 

“Define use.”

 

“Like Instagram and Twitter.”

 

“Oh. I don't have social media.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I just don't see the point, cupcake.”

 

“Aren't you even a little bit intrigued?”

 

Someone motions for Carmilla to move, so she gets up from her chair. “I've seen my hair.”

 

It becomes a thing for Laura, to show Carmilla all kinds of fan things. She shows her posts and tweets and fanart and suddenly it dawns that they really are doing well on viewership. And that, apparently, people are really into her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She thinks of that again when she's walking around with Mattie and a flash of a camera gets her attention. Initially, she assumes it's a tourist or something- they are at a busy street. But then she spots a man walking backwards, camera aimed directly at her.

 

“Mattie.”

 

Her sister looks up to spot the same man. “Nice. Took them long enough.”

 

Carmilla tries to ignore the presence, but after fifteen minutes of solid tailing, she raises him a finger. Mattie laughs and lets her do it without fussing. Carmilla keeps it up until they duck into a shop.

 

Two days later, the same thing happens when she's heading out to meet Perry and LaF. Another guy, this one tiny and bald, peeks out of a group of people. He looks sleazy, and soon enough shouts out things at her, questions more and more personal, and Carmilla nearly decks him. Instead, she lights a cigarette and slips into an alleyway.

 

Both LaF and Perry are there when she shows up- but Laura is also in the booth, wearing a giant hoodie and a beanie.

 

“Why do they do that,” Carmilla grouches in lieu of a greeting. “What do they get out of following me?”

 

“Paychecks,” Laura says, squeezing way too much ketchup into her fries. “Lots and lots of paychecks.”

 

“How do you deal with that?”

 

Laura shrugs. “I'm used to it. Walk fast and smile.”

 

Her scowl is enough of an answer; Laura shakes her head and bumps her shoulder on hers. Carmilla steals one of her fries.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One day, when she gets home after a grueling fight sequence, Carmilla lays down on her couch and does exactly what she shouldn't- she googles herself. The first thing that shows up is her IMDB page, then Wikipedia and it dwindles to TV recaps and lists. Then the second thing is that the top search after that is “Carmilla Karnstein and Laura Hollis”.

 

And that yields two hours of mounting terror because Carmilla is terrible at keeping her eyes to herself near Laura and there are a dozen videos of her staring as she talks. Like a damn idiot.

 

There are pages and pages talking about chemistry and how cute they are and Jesus Christ, has Laura seen these and not said anything? What the fuck.

 

She keeps on clicking random posts and stops looking for herself, instead watching repeat gifs of Laura laughing and videos of her in talk shows. The Late Late Show is her favorite, because Laura is having the time of her life talking about Veronica Mars and something with a Doctor- but they're all great and she's really deep in. It's hours before she pulls herself out of it and closes Safari.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her character in Silas was always meant to be the true love interest for Laura's; when romantic interaction between them happens, Perry makes sure to prioritize it. They grow closer and closer as episodes pass, to the glee of fans everywhere. LaFontaine writes a love story very well, and lets Laura and Carmilla just play along to what they feel right in the script.

 

The crew is pretty lax, but Carmilla is permanently tense. Laura is gorgeous, funny, and an incredible actress. Every episode there is a glowing review of her, and if Carmilla wasn't taken aback by her fame before, she is now. It's daunting, to try to match up with her.

 

Mattie books an interview for the cast- the first one with the core trio, Carmilla, Laura, and Kirsch. It's not a big show or anything; the live audience is cheerful, but small. Still, Kirsch keeps fiddling with his watch at backstage.

 

“Kirsch,” Carmilla growls after a while. “I will break your hand if you don't stop.”

 

“Sorry,” he says. “I'm just really nervous.”

 

Carmilla feels like she's going to throw up from nerves, so she just nods.

 

“Don't worry, you'll be fine,” Laura tells him. “We'll be great.”

 

They come in at the sound of claps; Laura, ever the people's person, waves at the audience until they sit. Carmilla ends up between both of them; she was hoping to be on the edge so it'd be less likely to get asked things, but now she's exactly in front of the anchor.

 

“And Carmilla, you're a new face,” he says, and her stomach sinks. “How is it like to work with Laura and Wilson?”

 

“It's been great,” she says. “They're really talented and it's a pleasure to be able to work with them.”

 

Kirsch smiles bashfully, while Laura gives her a mega-watt smile.

 

“It must be jarring, though.”

 

“Well, I think it's about time I got this much attention.”

 

Laura laughs. “Full of yourself, much?”

 

“Wouldn't you be?”

 

The interviewer chuckles, and waits for Laura and Kirsch to stop giggling to continue. “And there's something going on between your characters, right?”

 

“Well, yeah. We get to see them gravitate towards each other, especially in later episodes.”

 

“And is it hard to play?”

 

“It's easy to be pulled in by Laura,” Carmilla answers with a smirk. “There's something magnetic about her.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Cupcake.”

 

Laura hums from her chair. It's freezing cold in Toronto, so Laura walks around bundled up like a penguin and talks like one. She looks so cute that Carmilla takes a picture- and another, when Laura notices what she's doing and pouts.

 

“Is this payback?” she asks, huffing. A small puff of smoke punctuates her words.

 

“Yes.”

 

“It was a great picture.” She doesn't falter at Carmilla's glare. Instead, she points at the phone. “Send me those; I want people to know you understand phones, at least.”

 

“If this is about me not wanting Twitter again-” she stops at Laura's pout. “Stop that. I don't have time for it.”

 

“You were watching old black-and-white movies last night!”

 

“It's more important than Twitter.”

 

“You're no fun.”

 

“Oh, I'm plenty of fun.”

 

Laura's cheeks turn red.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the mid-season finale, Carmilla gets a break from filming. She spends two days of them sprawled over her couch, flipping through channels and napping. On the third day, she gets a text from Laura.

 

_'are you home?'_

 

Her heartbeat picks up. _'yeah.'_

 

_'buzz me up, scotty!'_

 

When she opens the door, Laura hugs her tightly. Carmilla returns it. It could be blamed on getting used to see her every morning, but God, Carmilla missed Laura the whole weekend. She likes listening to Laura talk about random things when they carpool, and having her laugh on the background of her breakfast, and just plain sitting next to her while they read lines.

 

“Weren't you in New York?”

 

Laura steps out of her arms and she feels the loss immediately. “I got back this morning. I was planning on catching up on some shows, but my house is really quiet and I wanted to see you.”

 

Carmilla nods and works hard to suppress a smile. “Come in.”

 

Her apartment isn't fancy like Laura's must be. The couch is packed in at the corner, the rug is from IKEA, her guitars are battered, and every surface is decked in books. But Laura doesn't seem to mind, stepping around them and plopping down on the couch.

 

“What are you watching?”

 

Carmilla sits beside her, knees bumping against Laura's. “A documentary on Nietzsche.”

 

“Let's watch something else.”

 

“It's not done.”

 

“You know what happens. He dies and everything.”

 

“That is a great summary, thank you.”

 

Laura waves her hand dismissively. “Let's watch a Disney movie.”

 

They scroll through Netflix until they manage to agree on Mulan. Carmilla tries to focus on the movie, but Laura's body is warm against her, and she smells like sunflowers and soap. When she sings, she takes Carmilla's hand as a microphone and rests against her during dialogues.

 

Laura gets her phone to take a picture with her in one of the few moments that she's actually paying attention. It's her looking forwards with a slight frown and Laura under her arm, smiling at the camera. She posts it with the caption: 'this grump likes mushu!!!' and Carmilla manages to huff and roll her eyes at the same time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Red carpets are nerve-wracking. The blinking lights make her dizzy and it's hard to be normal when answering questions when girls shove notebooks at your face. Carmilla is as closed-off there as she is everywhere else, so no one notices her anxiety during it; she answers them politely and lives up to her recently-earned heartthrob status by flirting with overly excited camera people.

 

She finds Kirsch somewhere in the middle of the concert hall, talking with Danny and JP. They nod at Carmilla when she joins them.

 

“So I told Will- I told him bro, you can't just pick up chicks like that. They're not for playing, ya know?”

 

Carmilla doesn't know whether to laugh or slap her own forehead, which is how she usually feels around Kirsch. Danny pinches the bridge of her nose, while JP listens intently.

 

“And what did he say?”

 

“Hey,” a voice says. “What is Kirsch going on about?”

 

Carmilla turns and her jaw promptly drops. Laura is wearing a light pink, flowing dress, her head up on a delicate bun; she looks like a goddess painted by a devoted servant, a picture of heaven on Earth. It's not that she doesn't look gorgeous every day – because she does – but her in a dress is a new sight, and it takes Carmilla's breath away. She smiles and Carmilla tries to smile back, but ends up looking like she's mad.

 

“Carm?”

 

Her eyes shine under the mood lighting. Carmilla clears her throat. “Sorry, spaced out. Hey, creampuff. Enjoying yourself?”

 

“Not really,” she says. “Theo Straka keeps hitting on me.”

 

Carmilla raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

 

“And he even knows I'm gay.”

 

Laura leans forward so that Carmilla can actually put an arm around her. Displays of affection have become commonplace over the months of filming, and now they just touch each other without thinking about it. But Carmilla does think about how Laura fits against her, when she's alone, feeling the warmth of her arms even then.

 

They sway with the music for a while. “Everyone knows you're gay, cupcake. We have eyes.”

 

“Been looking at me, huh?”

 

Carmilla is thankful Laura can't see her face turning red. “Do you look at me?”

 

“You're kinda hard to miss, Carm.”

 

“Says the award-winning actress,” Laura laughs but says nothing. Carmilla takes a deep breath. “I look at you too.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Don't make me say it again.”

 

Laura burrows closer into Carmilla. “Shutting up now.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course someone snaps a photo of them at the party, wrapped up on each other. That leads to Laura's feed blowing up and Mattie calling them 24/7. Carmilla feels whatever about it; it's odd to see her face on magazines and such, but it's for something she doesn't mind.

 

Laura, however, has acted strangely. After two weeks, an avoidance Carmilla chalked up to stopping rumors turns into a divide, and soon Carmilla sees herself without Laura on the weekends and with little interaction out of set. She keeps trying to figure it out, but no one seems to know why she's doing it.

 

It's upsetting, to say the least. Because Carmilla caved and let Laura become a fixed thing in her life, something that she rarely does, and now the connection is being severed. Part of her wonders why, but the other, the one still afraid of the clicking of heels, tells her that it's her fault. That a fuck-up like Carmilla could never expect someone as amazing as Laura Hollis to actually hang around.

 

Laura is so bright and wonderful and sometimes it makes Carmilla stop talking and just look at her. She's a born star, kind and strong and intelligent, and she makes everything so much better no matter what, so it seems fitting that she shies away from Carmilla. She's burnt most of the things she's touched. Maybe something as good as Laura can never stand beside Carmilla's darkness.

 

If those months of laughs and hugs are all she'll ever get, Carmilla is more than thankful.

 

In the meantime, she spends most days moping around her apartment, reading sad poetry, until LaFontaine gets sick of it and drags her out.

 

She gets roped by them into making a Twitter account on a free holiday. They're sitting around their house, lounging in slippers and watching reruns of Friends when they prompt her. Maybe she's had a couple of glasses of wine and all, but everyone keeps telling her it's a good idea so, yeah.

 

_'@HeyCarmilla: I've caved and joined Twitter thanks to @LaFilphormes'_

 

_'@HeyCarmilla: If I don't like it I'm blaming them.'_

 

LaF retweets her; Carmilla turns off notifications and locks her phone, turning back to the TV. They switch to some documentary about deep sea fish and stay there, occasionally pointing out how ugly those things are.

 

They spend the whole day there, spiraling into weirder things and tangents and Carmilla forgets about her phone all together. It's only when she gets on a cab that she notices.

 

_'@Laura2theLetter: welcome to the digital age, @HeyCarmilla!'_

 

She turns off her phone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carmilla glowers at Danny. “I'm not doing it.”

 

“Karnstein, it's good PR.”

 

“I don't care. I'm not doing it. Stop talking to Mattie.”

 

“It's for a good cause.”

 

“I refuse to do this.”

 

“Laura is doing it.”

 

“Laura is in a different level, Xena. Her career is golden.”

 

Danny sighs. “It'll be important for some of your fans.”

 

“It's important to me that I can keep acting, so yeah.”

 

“What's up?”

 

Carmilla tenses up. “Nothing, cupcake.”

 

Laura stands next to them by craft services, holding a cup full of M&Ms. They're talking again, but Carmilla has a foot out the door now. Her response to Laura is stilted and cold.

 

“Danny?”

 

“Morticia got offered an interview at BuzzFeed about coming out.”

 

“Oh, cool!” Laura whirls on her. “That's exciting!”

 

“I'm not doing it.” She states.

 

“Why?”

 

JP shows up by the entrance. “Karnstein, you're wanted on set.”

 

“Thanks,” she yells. Turning around, she says, “I don't like talking about this. End of story.”

 

The rest of the day is a blur of anger and anxiety. She's mad that Lawrence can't seem to take a hint and that Laura can't drop a subject, even when it's clearly out of bounds. Carmilla knows she'll come up to her with all these questions and, even if it's well-meaning, it'll irk her to no end. So she leaves as soon as she's finished shooting and locks herself at home, ignoring any incoming calls.

 

But she still has too much energy to stand still- Carmilla paces up and down her corridor, letting her mind take the paths they shouldn't. It's scary how easy it is to slip back into rage and desperation, even after all these years; she feels the need to hurl something, to hit things, urges she hates but can't help.

 

She gets a bottle of vodka from the cupboard and drinks until tears bloom in her eyes. The burning is a welcome sensation- it reminds her she's alive and feeling and free. Her windows show the rapidly darkening sky, but the lights and sounds that accompany the dark help keeping the ghosts away.

 

A ringing noise startles her out of her daze; she stares at the door for too long, and nearly falls when she remembers it won't open without her. She unlocks it without thinking, and drops the near-empty bottle on the floor in her haste. It falls on her foot and she bends forward to catch it, almost knocking onto the person coming in.

 

“Carm?”

 

She bumps into the wall and slides down, bottle on her hands again.

 

A pair of hands sneak onto her vision and raise her chin; Carmilla looks at Laura's general direction. “Hi.”

 

“Oh, babe.”

 

Laura tugs at her hand but Carmilla stubbornly stays down. “Why are we moving?”

 

“Because you need to go to bed.”

 

“I can't go to bed,” she says, shaking her head three times for good measure. “I don't want to.”

 

“You don't have to sleep.”

 

“I'm going to have nightmares and I'd rather not,” she says, not really registering what Laura said. “Because I was doing so good and now I've gotten bad again- Laura, I was doing great.”

 

She stops talking, her throat constricting in an effort to stop tears. Laura sits down by her side and holds her, humming something she can't quite pick out. But it's nice and it fills Carmilla's hazy mind, and the terror lessens somewhat at the smell of her hair.

 

“I'm sorry,” she says. “I'm sorry for being work.”

 

“Don't apologize, Carm. I want to help.”

 

“You know Maman didn't want to,” Carmilla says, the name echoing through her apartment. It tastes like poison on her tongue. “Maman didn't want to help so she locked me in the basement and went to Seattle.”

 

Laura tenses up beside her, but Carmilla doesn't get why. “She did what?”

 

“She said she wanted a good daughter and she got me. So she locked me in- it was really dark in there.”

 

“How old were you?” Laura asks tersely.

 

“Ten. She did it a lot after I turned fifteen too. Mattie got me out sometimes, but mostly I had to wait until Maman came back. Once I stayed there for days.”

 

Laura pulls Carmilla to her lap; Carmilla clings to her, hot tears finally escaping, for some reason she can't pinpoint. “I'm sorry, Carm.”

 

“I tried to be a good daughter. I learned how to play the piano and the violin so she could be proud but I wasn't good with cello so she wasn't happy. And I liked to read too much. I tried but when I turned fifteen I gave up.”

 

“So she locked you?”

 

“Yeah. I thought it was normal, but Elle said her mom didn't lock her up and Will said Maman didn't either so I figured it was just me-”

 

She can't finish her sentence out of sobbing; Laura rubs circles on her back. Carmilla pays attention to them, and leans further into the embrace. Laura makes her feel safe like no one else, and she lets herself cry on her shoulder.

 

“Maman found out I was dating Elle when I was sixteen,” she continues, because she's never told this and now she just wants to get rid of it. “She threw me in the basement and I hit my head. It wasn't until she left for a conference that Mattie managed to get me out- I had to get stitches and everything. Mattie took me to her house and I never went back. I think she was happy to get rid of me.”

 

“That's why-”

 

“I'm not doing the interview.” She says, resolute.

 

“Okay.”

 

Carmilla leans back to look at Laura. Her eyes are red and tears drop down her chin- but she looks as strong as ever, and a burst of affection overcomes Carmilla. “Okay?”

 

“Okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.”

 

Slowly, she nods. “Thank you, Laura. I think I'm too drunk. I'd like to go to bed now.”

 

Laura sleeps on her couch that night and, when they go out for breakfast the next morning, teases Carmilla for her oversized sunglasses. They hug and smile and don't talk about heavy things- but Laura's hold on her is a little tighter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It comes to no surprise that Silas gets a panel at Comic-Con. The year before, they had one with Kirsch and Laura- Carmilla hadn't been able to attend. The event was great for the show then, and this year it's going to be even bigger, continuing Carmilla's streak of being in over her head.

 

Laura commands the audience's attention, as usual; she has on a pink button-up with black slacks, but she might as well be wearing a ballgown for how beautiful she looks. But Carmilla put effort into her 'rolled out of bed' look, and Laura spent the whole ride touching her leather jacket while they talked. It's not that she ever doubts her how attractive she is but it's great that Laura doesn't either.

 

“I think it's really great that we're on a position to give some representation, yeah,” Laura is saying to a Sailor Jupiter. “And it makes me really happy to hear that it has changed your life, even if just a little.”

 

The girl bounces off and a guy comes up to the mic. Laura's long-winded and rambling answers offer a nice counterpoint to Carmilla's short quips and dry humor. They manage to bring out a couple of good laughs from the audience and the crew; Carmilla's frowns anytime anything pop-culture related comes up are Laura's favorite. Kirsch surprises them by giving thought to what he says, while Perry and LaF are brilliant as usual.

 

It's fun but it's quick; between trying not to look at Laura too much and not letting spoilers through, Carmilla is relieved to when it ends. The crew goes somewhere else for lunch, but she goes up to her room after signing a couple of things for fans outside. It's nice to spend time alone, catching up on some reading. Besides, the only person who would be free is Laura, who at the moment is walking around the floor in a masked Spider-Gwen costume.

 

Needless to say, she'd much rather stay in.

 

But at night, the fans roar back for the parties. Carmilla used to jump at the opportunity to drink and dance, but the appeal was lost after people started to recognize her. Suddenly, picking up hot girls and fucking them in a club's bathroom was way more trouble then it was worth.

 

Kirsch didn't take no for an answer; he knocks on her door incessantly until she opens it, and rushes her to get changed. He's never still or quiet, Carmilla's noticed, other than around one person- which is why she's actually going to this shindig, so that she can force him to talk to Danny for more than five minutes.

 

If he asks, though, she'll deny it to her deathbed.

 

They opt to not go through a red carpet, instead ducking into the side door and directly onto the dance floor. Kirsch yells out that he's getting them shots and Carmilla nods, moving to stand by a wall. She unlocks her phone to text Laura she's arrived, when she spots Danny moving through the crowd. Their eyes meet and Carmilla nods to where Kirsch was off to.

 

Laura finds her before Kirsch does; she wraps her arms around Carmilla's torso and giggles into her shoulder.

 

“Carm! I didn't think you'd actually come!”

 

“What, and have you guys have fun by yourselves?” she says, holding Laura to her chest. “Though you look like you're having a blast.”

 

“It's better that you're here,” Laura tells her. “You make things better.”

 

Carmilla is way too sober for this. “Thanks, cutie.”

 

Laura does the little hum thing she does when she's drunk, and it tickles at Carmilla's neck. She frees one of her hands from under Laura's arm and tugs her a bit away as Kirsch makes his way to them. He hands her a shot and she downs it as fast as she can.

 

“Hey, little hottie. I'd give you one too, but I think you've had too many.”

 

Laura pouts at him and Kirsch almost caves, before Carmilla takes that glass too. “We gotta cut Hollis out now or she'll be dancing on top of the bar.”

 

“I agree with you, for the first time.” Danny says.

 

“I won't get used to it.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Caaaaarm, dance with me.”

 

“Absolutely not,” she tells her. “Not without at least two more shots.”

 

Kirsch takes that as a command and finds tequila somewhere at the bar, while Laura hoots him on like a sports coach. They cheer as both Danny and Carmilla take them. When it finally hits, Carmilla lets Laura tug her into the crowd.

 

She finds out a surprising fact about Laura Hollis.

 

She dances dirty. There's hardly any space between their bodies, and Laura holds no qualms over running her hands up and down Carmilla's back. It's like she undulates against Carmilla, moving as if she's trying to fill any space she leaves.

 

Carmilla also finds out, as Laura throws her head back as a beat drops, that she's dangerously close to being in love with Laura Hollis.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the finale airs, Laura comes over more often. And it's not like Carmilla's place is closer to anything or that it has more space, because Laura has a huge flat downtown; but she claims to love Carmilla's apartment, even when the neighbors yell about sports and their cat.

 

They have a movie marathon on a random Sunday. Laura is wearing a soft-looking knitted sweater and has a pair of socks with deer on them that peek out of Carmilla's throw blanket. She looks comfortable and happy with her cup of cocoa in hands, talking about Agent Carter with a spark in her eye- and Carmilla is thrown by how this is something almost no one gets to see.

 

She unwittingly misses something Laura's saying after this revelation and can only blink when Laura stops to wait for her response. “Sorry, sweetheart, I was somewhere else.”

 

“You've been there a lot lately,” Laura reaches out to poke at Carmilla's forehead. “What's going on in there?”

 

“Nothing, really. Don't worry about it.”

 

“Tell me,” she says, smiling. “I wanna know.”

 

“I'm glad we're friends.” She rushes out.

 

Laura's face goes through a myriad of emotions before settling into happiness. “Aw, Carm.”

 

She puts her mug on the coffee table and cuddles up to Carmilla, who valiantly tries to stifle the blush coming up her face. “Don't say anything. I'm mortified enough.”

 

“Carm- it's cute. I'm glad we're friends too.”

 

And there's just enough hesitation behind it to make Carmilla suspicious. “You don't sound like it.”

 

Laura pulls back to look at her. “What- no, I want to be your friend. I like being your friend.”

 

Carmilla stares at her until Laura ducks her head- that's when she knows there's more to a story. “Laura, hey,” she says, tugging at her chin so she can see her eyes. “What's wrong?”

 

“When we met, I was really nervous,” Laura tells her. “I wanted to make a good first impression because LaF was talking up a storm about you. And you looked all cool and disaffected when I came in.”

 

“You're intimidating. I was trying to look chill about it.”

 

Laura smiles- the sweet one that softens her eyes. It's Carmilla's favorite. “The read was great- it's easy to act with you. And I wanted you to be my friend since then.”

 

“I don't know why, but thank God.”

 

“Don't say that. You're so smart and talented and you work so, so hard. I'm so grateful to have you in my life, Carm.”

 

She can't keep her eyes on Laura or she might say something stupid; instead, she looks down at her hands where they grasp Laura's, and says, “I'm grateful too.”

 

God, if Carmilla doesn't want to lean down just enough to kiss her- but Laura turns back to the TV, ears red and eyes sparkling, and Carmilla quashes the impulse for what feels the thousandth time. Instead, she puts her arm around her and tells herself that she's content with just this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_'#the way laura can't stop looking at carmilla's lips #be more obvious hollis #you aint slick'_

 

_'#rps is weird af #but I can't help it LOOK AT THEM'_

 

_'#look laf totally ships it #their smirk says it all'_

 

Most tags on the bloopers and BTS are about Carmilla and Laura- or, how they've been dubbed after furious debate, Hollstein. It's strange that people are actively taking interest in her own love life, but it's great to know that she's not making it up in her head.

 

After that day at Carmilla's, she's been looking back and trying to find reasons to think Laura's feelings for her aren't completely platonic. Because, good God, she's been falling for her since the day they met in that tiny backroom, and she's going to sleep and waking up thinking of Laura's smile. To her surprise, she realizes that Laura acts around her much like her character does- giggling and touching and reaching out to Carmilla.

 

But she can't act on it, because Jimmy Fallon picked the exact worst moment to get Carmilla on his show.

 

“So, Carmilla,” he says, waiting for her to settle onto the seat. “I was wondering if you've seen that list?”

 

An image of BuzzFeed's website pops up; it's a list of best scowls in 2015. Carmilla's photo is a candid of her glaring at a paparazzi while she's going into a coffee shop; she remembers how damn cold it was and how the guy kept yelling for shit. He was lucky she was carrying coffee, otherwise his pictures would be her making crude gestures.

 

“I do have a great bitch face, I'll be honest.”

 

“You're higher than Kristen Stewart!”

 

“I think she smiles more than me.” Carmilla tells him.

 

“And yet you're friends with Laura Hollis, who can't seem to stop grinning.”

 

Carmilla waits for the applause at Laura's name to die down to reply, “It's the sugar. But, really, Laura is just a happy, energetic person. We once had to film at a cold beachfront at three AM and she still managed to dance to High School Musical with Kirsch. It's baffling, really.”

 

“What were you doing?”

 

“Judging silently. Recording it for future blackmail. Just things a good best friend should do.”

 

“I saw that video of you singing on her Instagram, and, I have to say- I'm shocked you're not in the music business.”

 

People hoot from the stands. “It's more of a hobby than anything. I wouldn't want to get in the industry now- I'm focusing on acting for the time being.” And, as an addendum, “Thank you, though.”

 

She's been getting reamed by Mattie about her likability; most might be into the asshole act, but Carmilla's missing the young demographic Mattie wants to reach. So she keeps conversation light and fun for a while. She's met Fallon before, at a party- he's good at making people feel comfortable.

 

When the topic of Laura rears up again, just as they're about to break for commercial, she doesn't think much of what she's going to say.

 

“She's been trying to get me into Hunger Games and all. I'm not that into it, but she's hard to say no to. Besides, it's cute that she knows all the lines.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calling Laura 'cute' in national television brings her endless suffering. Kirsch makes kissy noises when they hang out with everyone and LaF wiggles their eyebrows at the mention of her co-star. It usually gets Carmilla out the room in five minutes.

 

Laura is somewhere in France, doing a supporting role on a historical movie, but she sends a selfie with Jimmy Fallon in the background, while she sports a huge grin. Carmilla replies ' _don't let it go to your head, buttercup'_ , but it's to no avail. She still calls Carmilla later that day, teasing.

 

But it's the slight giddy lilt to her that makes Carmilla's mind up.

 

On the day of Laura's arrival back, Carmilla goes to the airport with a sign. It's cheesy and everything, and it's probably ruining her image, but when Laura steps out, eyes baggy and hair mussed up, it's worth it. She's listlessly looking around the airport, but stops when she spots Carmilla and smiles, wide and glorious, and runs until they're at arms' length.

 

Carmilla drops the sign in favor of pulling the shorter girl into a hug.

 

“I missed you so much, Carm,” Laura says, muffled against her sweater. “Never let me leave again.”

 

She wants to say it- wants to tell her she's so utterly in love with her that her breath catches at her throat. That she thinks of her when she's sad and happy and that she's the first person she calls when something happens and how she missed her so fucking much that month off.

 

“If it were up to me you'd be at my house everyday, cupcake.”

 

Laura pulls back to press a kiss against Carmilla's cheek. “You're sweet.”

 

“Don't tell anyone.”

 

She picks Laura's bag up, despite the protests, and they make their way out the airport. The sun pokes out of some clouds and lights up Laura's hair while she closes the trunk; she looks out of her dreams, shining and free like a gust of summer wind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, Carmilla lets herself into Laura's apartment.

 

It's an odd place; most walls are bare and the kitchen is untouched. Everything looks straight out of the store in the huge flat. It makes her uncomfortable to be there without Laura's effusive behavior.

 

She busies herself with making pancakes and eggs with the groceries she's bought; Laura's cupboards are devoid of anything remotely healthy, and her refrigerator is an altar to takeout. Humming to herself, she moves around the counters, pulling plates and silverware without thinking about it.

 

A putter-patter of feet announces Laura's arrival. Without looking up from her own plate, Carmilla says, “I doubt you had anything on that pantry of yours. How you not starve is beyond me.”

 

At the lack of response, she looks up- and pajama'd Laura is staring at her with a weird look on her face.

 

“What?”

 

Laura crosses the room and pulls Carmilla by the shoulders to stand up- then she kisses her, and the world stops.

 

She pushes Carmilla up against the counter with her hips, hands on her waist, fingers digging into skin. Carmilla can't kiss back fast enough, matching her enthusiasm; she tugs her even closer by her shirt, biting and sucking at Laura's lower lip until the girl melts into her arms.

 

“You do these things,” Laura mumbles against her lips, mint and honey in one, and Carmilla might die at any point. “And I can't not want to kiss you-”

 

“Kiss me any time,” she replies, moving down to Laura's neck, “Kiss me all day.”

 

Laura makes this noise on the back of her throat when Carmilla nips at her pulse point that is so distracting that she forgets where they are for a minute; Laura's coffee machine beeps obnoxiously and startles them both.

 

“If I knew I just needed to make pancakes for you to kiss me, I would've done it a year ago.” Carmilla says, lowly.

 

“You've been wanting to kiss me since then, huh?” Laura asks, with a shit-eating grin.

 

“I thought it was obvious.”

 

Laura frowns- Carmilla leans in to smooth the crease on her forehead with her lips. “It wasn't!”

 

“I've been flirting with you for months, Hollis.”

 

“You flirt with everyone- I thought-”

 

Carmilla chuckles. “I don't buy everyone donuts and coffee every morning, do I? Or let them win at Life, buy their father a Christmas present, or watch Ten's run on Doctor Who in their living room at two in the morning. I don't even _like_ that Tennant guy, I just pretend I'm into it because it makes you happy- I like Capaldi better, honestly. He's got the whole pissed-off look down.”

 

Laura looks at her like she's handing her the sun. “Really?”

 

“It's all for you, Laura.”

 

Laura is quiet wonder; she reaches up to trace Carmilla's jaw with her thumb, tapping every now and then. Then she moves to her cheekbone- Carmilla leans into the touch, the fingers splaying at the direction of her ear, and closes her eyes. Laura's lips land on her other cheek, staying there.

 

“I'm in love with you,” Laura breathes, and it's like being born again. “I'm in love with you.”

 

Her heart thunders in her chest. She turns so Laura will have to look at her, and whispers, “I'm in love with you too. I've loved you for so long.”

 

She kisses Laura, soft and calm, as if they have all the time in the world. They part slowly, bumping noses and grinning, and stare at each other for what feels like forever.

 

Then, “How many girls' hearts are we breaking, right now?”

 

Laura giggles and it shakes her whole body. “So many. There will be rants.”

 

“There are always rants. Someone complained about me wearing cotton the other day.”

 

“You looked good on that shirt.”

 

“I know. Been looking at my tag, much?”

 

“Shut up.” Laura wiggles in her arms. Carmilla holds her tighter and nuzzles her neck.

 

“I can't blame you- I am hot.”

 

“You're such an asshole.”

 

“Hm. But you love me.”

 

Laura peppers her face with kisses until Carmilla breaks out into a smile. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” she says. “You should eat before the food gets cold.”

 

“Five more minutes.”

 


	2. i'll shine for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The impossible happens- they get even cheesier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to add to this au, i just love it so much  
> the title is from another swift song bc it's one of those months: Jump and Fall

 

 

 

“Any questions?”

Carmilla lazily raises her hand. “Who would win in a fight- Obama or Mickey Mouse?”

Perry glares from across the table; Danny hides her face under her hands. LaF, however, leans forward and says, “Mickey Mouse, hands down.”

“Laura Benanti versus James Joyce?"

“Carmilla,” Perry interrupts. “We're trying to be serious here-”

“C3PO or Jane Bennet?”

“That's a tough one,” LaF says. “I think C3PO because Jane would just apologize. Unless he said something about Elizabeth.”

“Chuck Norris or Xena?”

“Which Xena?”

“The non-ginger one.”

Laura tries to stifle her giggles, to no avail. Perry's eye starts twitching.

“Xena.”

“Really?” Kirsch says, making a face. “Chuck Norris is the ultimate.”

“Nah, the girl from Kill Bill could smash his face in,” LaF shakes their head. “He stands no chance against Xena.”

“What about-”

“Carmilla.”

She raises her hands and makes her best innocent act. Laura hides behind her shoulder, shaking with laughter. “You asked.”

Perry huffs and ends the meeting. Carmilla and Laura stand up first and go out into the hallway- Laura has to dodge a red-faced PA. The kid apologizes profusely to her, to which she smiles and sends them off.

“You're so mean,” she tells Carmilla. “Poor Perry.”

“I was bored. Let's go eat something.”

They're both done for the week, their shoot schedule miraculously ending on a Wednesday. Everyone else still has some scenes; but it's a Kirsch-centered episode, mostly flashbacks, so the girls get to go home and rest.

They leave the set side-by-side, Carmilla's arm thrown over Laura's shoulders. It's been little over a month since they officially started dating- because Laura thought they weren't, which let into a twenty minute rant about how she couldn't deal with open relationships and that she wanted to make it clear because of Carmilla's reputation. Her answer was a long, slow kiss and a “I'm _your_ girlfriend, Hollis”.

No one seems to notice anything. Their behavior is still the same- they're always touching each other still, going out together, arriving and leaving in one car. The only one who may know something is poor SJ, who had to cover up a hickey a couple of days earlier. But that could be anything.

So it's no surprise to anyone when they go out for burgers and it shows up on Laura's Snapchat – not while they're there, because people _will_ look it up and find them – as they both pose with two bags of greasy takeout.

Laura waits until they're at Carmilla's place to take out her phone again; Carmilla hides behind her hand. “I'm chewing!”

Laura pouts until Carmilla lets her take a picture- her glare should be enough to cower anyone else but her girlfriend, who instead just grins in satisfaction and goes back to her fries.

 

 

 

 

Carmilla gets a popularity boost after two famous critics praise her in an episode. Suddenly, magazines and websites and all kinds of TV shows want a piece of her, to Mattie's delight. She gets whisked into a series of photoshoots and interviews over the course of two weeks, leaving little time for herself.

It's great that she's getting recognition, truly- but she kind of misses having a weekend to cuddle with Laura.

During her first free Sunday, though, Carmilla happily naps on her couch, arm thrown over her eyes. It feels like she gets less than ten seconds of sleep, though, as her door is thrown open and a familiar hiccup of feet pad along her living room.

“Babe!”

She groans. “I'm not here.”

Laura obviously ignores her, opting instead to straddle her hips and wait until Carmilla sighs and looks at her. She's got a magazine on her grasp- a closer look proves that it is, in fact, the recent Entertainment Weekly edition.

“It's me.”

Laura isn't deterred by Carmilla's flat tone. “How dare you look so good?”

“Are you implying I don't look good all the time?”

Laura gives her an impatient glare. “Carm.”

Carmilla smiles, sitting up to be face to face with her girlfriend. “Hi.”

A sudden shyness takes over Laura's face, and it's too adorable for Carmilla not to kiss her. Laura's left hand lets go of the paper and traces Carmilla's jaw, touch just barely there. But then she pulls away, making Carmilla pout.

“Focus!”

Carmilla begrudgingly looks at the cover photo. It's of her, sitting on a bar stool, her combat boots hooked on the metal hoop beneath it. She's on full black, leather pants and a vest, her mouth half-open in an enticing manner. It's a great photo- the headline says ' _Here to stay'_ in bold, red lettering.

It's amazing that she's in a EW issue, and even more that she's the _cover_ of one.

A small, proud smile graces Carmilla's lips. “I have to admit- this is cool.”

Laura squeals and hugs her tightly, the momentum throwing them back onto the couch, Laura on top of her. “I'm so proud of you!”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

Neither makes any move to get up. Instead, Laura nudges her way under Carmilla's chin, cold nose pressing on her neck. The magazine lays on the floor as Carmilla winds her arms around Laura, sighing contentedly.

“Are you happy?”

“I am. You?”

Laura snuggles further into her. “Very much.”

“Do I get a kiss for my cover?”

“You already got one.”

“ _Laura_.”

Laura giggles but moves away to press their lips together. It's soft and light, Laura's mouth warm on hers, but Carmilla's hands slowly make their way under her shirt, her middle fingers drawing circles around the dimples on her back. It never fails to turn Laura into putty in her hands- she sinks into Carmilla's embrace as she bites Laura's lower lip.

A phone rings.

Laura moves away to get it, while Carmilla sinks into her couch. She's thinking up hundreds of ways to kill the caller as Laura talks to the other person.

“Stop grumbling,” Laura tells her, covering the mouthpiece. “It's LaF.”

“Even worse.”

 

 

 

 

JP is the first to find out.

It's full day of shooting one of the most emotional episodes of the season. The script was written by him, so he's always behind the camera with Perry to supervise. Even during a scene so raw that half the crew leaves, just to set the mood even quieter.

Laura and Carmilla's characters fight. It's been building up since the mid-season finale for season one. Instead of a screaming match, JP wrote a heartbreaking, quiet fight, where neither of them raises their voice, and both have tears in their eyes.

It's horrible for Carmilla to film. Any time a – scripted – word comes out of her mouth and Laura's eyes fill with sadness, it's a knife slicing her in half. A tear escapes her own eye as Laura starts actually crying, and when they're at the third take, Laura's eyes red and puffy, she nearly calls it off so she can hold her.

But they finish the scene. The moment Perry yells cut, both girls walk across the room to cling to each other. Carmilla's hands run over Laura's back, strong and desperate, as they both finish crying in their embrace.

Later, when they leave the set, Laura tugs her at the wall by the exit. Carmilla thinks of nothing but kissing her- so she does, pressing her against the wall until Laura sucks in a breath, the ghost of her name on her lips. It's a hot, desperate clash, both of them pulling at each other for the first moments.

Then it turns slow, unhurried, Laura's arms looping around Carmilla's neck. Carmilla holds her impossibly close by her waist, keeping her there even as they part.

Laura's breath is sweet against her lips as she speaks. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

The exit door opens with the screech of metal against metal. Carmilla buries her face on Laura's neck, a hand moving to brace herself against the brick wall. Laura barely moves from her spot, as close to Carmilla as she can get.

“Hey, JP.”

His voice is cautious. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. Just a rough day.”

“Well, tomorrow you'll both be able to rest,” he says, though there's still worry in his voice. Fondness fills Carmilla's heart- JP won't push either of them, for he knows and respects Carmilla's need for privacy. “See you at dinner?”

“We'll be there.”

Laura's focus returns to her as the footsteps fade away. “I'm sorry.”

Both of them know it was merely a scene, but it still clings as if it'd been a real argument. Carmilla fills her lungs with Laura. “I'm sorry too.”

When their eyes meet again, Laura has a few tears in her eyes. Carmilla wipes them away with the pads of her fingers, and then keeps them at her cheekbones. “Sleep at my house tonight.”

Laura nods and kisses her again. “Okay.”

 

 

 

After that, basically everyone knows. Not really because JP told them, though the poor guy is awful at keeping secrets, but because half the crew saw their moment as they passed.

LaFontaine is somewhere between amused and angry. Apparently there was a crew-wide pool over when they'd finally hook up, and they lost- to none other than Danny Lawrence, who never fails to brag about it.

At least it means that Laura can sit on Carmilla's lap during game night.

 

 

 

The internet, however, isn't sure about their status.

Their fans on Tumblr are constantly torn between respecting their privacy and throwing out wild ideas as to why they are or aren't together- something that amuses Carmilla a great deal.

For example: a paparazzo caught Laura leaving Perry's house, two days before their six-months anniversary. In the pictures, Laura looks radiant as usual- her hair flowing in the wind, her skirt billowing like a cloud.

A girl posts under the photos:

_'She's wearing Carmilla's shirt. SHE HAS TO BE!'_

The comments afterwards vary:

_'you don't know that. people buy the same clothes all the time on accident.'_

_'dude that is the same shirt carm was wearing two days ago on laf's instagram'_

_'why are we talking about this'_

_'#IT EVEN HAS THE SAME WINE STAIN #I'M TELLING YOU #FUCKIN LISTEN'_

_'CHILL OUT GUYS. Who gives a fuck?'_

_'#ayyyyyy #get it karnstein'_

Laura and LaF take an even greater joy at reading them aloud. Perry worriedly looks on, as Kirsch is 100% interested and Danny judges silently.

“Are you ever going to say you're dating?” LaF asks, after they stalk a particularly active blogger, whose posts consist mostly of Laura's face and cat videos.

Both of them shrug. They've talked about this before. As happy as they'd be by making it known, it would cause an influx of unwanted attention they're not comfortable with. Mainly Carmilla, who Laura argued deserved to not have her name tied to hers.

Mattie would love for it to come out- it would be free advertisement. Thankfully, she understands it's too private a thing for Carmilla

Laura leans back into Carmilla's open arms. “Nah.”

“I have to keep some of my secrets. Otherwise I'll lose my air of mystery, won't I?”

“Fine, be all broody,” LaF mumbles. “I just wanted to see them lose their shit.”

“They will, once Hollis' bikini photos go up,” Carmilla smirks as her girlfriend gasps. “What? I can say that. You're hot.”

Laura blushes so fiercely her ears turn red. “Caaaaarm.”

“Yes?” She replies lightly.

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Okay, gross!” LaF interrupts, holding their hand up. “I hate love. Please stop. Can we watch Pacific Rim now?”

“Don't let your better half hear that.” Carmilla says, still smirking. LaF scowls.

“I miss it when you were a heartless jackass.”

“I'm still a jackass.”

“No, you're not, babe,” Laura says, patting Carmilla's knee. “You're just really, really grumpy.”

 

 

 

_'@jennyjane131: the amount of @laura2theletter and @heycarmilla fanfic is ridiculous tbh'_

_'@HeyCarmilla: @jennyjane131 I wrote half of them.'_

_'@LaFilphormes: @HeyCarmilla @jennyjane131 I wrote the other half.'_

_'@SumSoc: @LaFilphormes @HeyCarmilla @jennyjane131 both of you go to sleep we're filming in four hours'_

_'@HeyCarmilla: @SumSoc No.'_

 

 

_'@Laura2theLetter: Can someone please explain why @HeyCarmilla is so gung-ho on stealing my gummy bears?'_

_'@HeyCarmilla: @Laura2theLetter Because that little bunched-up face you make when you're mad is hilarious, buttercup.'_

_'@Laura2theLetter: @HeyCarmilla You're really not helping your case.'_

_'@HeyCarmilla: @Laura2theLetter I'll buy you a bucket of them tomorrow.'_

 

 

 

The second season's wrap party is a lot more fun than the first, for two main reasons: firstly, she now can kiss Laura and pull her close and make her laugh whenever; secondly, there's a lot more alcohol this time around.

A lot of the crew comes; the cast, the producers, the directors, the writers, the sound guys, the lighting people- pretty much everyone, from the smallest mic guy to a major AD. Everyone in a large penthouse - that seems to belong to JP, to her astonishment and mild pride – that seems to go on forever.

There's a lot of music and chatting; at some point, Perry makes a speech. It's a lot of 'thank you for being a wonderful crew' and 'I hope we can do this for more seasons', and she's having so much fun that she just rolls her eyes as Carmilla wolf-whistles at her. When Perry comes over, she even hugs Carmilla.

It's such a rare occasion that LaFontaine gets a picture of Carmilla's disgruntled surprise.

After they're all back to mingling, Laura returns to her arms, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You good, cupcake?” Carmilla asks.

She's solid and warm against her; sometimes Carmilla can't quite comprehend that Laura loves her back, and is engulfed by such a wave of emotion it drives her to silence. When Laura responds a happy “Yeah,” Carmilla can only nod and finish her whiskey.

“Hey, babe?” Laura calls after a minute.

“Yeah?”

They're in a corner by the living room, where the sound guys and Kirsch try to play intoxicated Rock Band. “Are you drunk?”

Carmilla frowns. “No. Just warm. Why?”

“I wanna ask you something.”

Laura pulls her to the back balcony, where only a few stragglers stand around, smoking. A pit of dread builds up inside Carmilla, not helped by Laura's sudden seriousness.

“Is everything okay?” she tries again, moving her hands to Laura's biceps. “Are _you_ drunk?”

“I'm soda only tonight,” is the reply. Laura then looks at her, in that same focused way she does when they're working or when they're in the bedroom. She doesn't quite know how to take it in these circumstances, though. “I just wanted to talk.”

“Hollis. You're scaring me.”

She seems to understand what she sounds like, because her eyes widen and she steps closer. “No, no- nothing _bad_. I think.”

“Well- then spit it out, cupcake.”

“I just- JP has a really nice place, but I don't like penthouses all that much, and frankly it seems like a lot of work to get to the top floor, and imagine what would happen with a power outage. And I was wondering what kind of place would you like – like a house or a small apartment or maybe a loft? - I don't know, I just realized that I spend more time at your place than I do mine, and it's dumb to keep paying for it if I'm not there-”

Carmilla cocks her head to the side. “Is this your very roundabout way of asking if we can live together?”

Laura flushes; she fumbles with the zipper on Carmilla's jacket, and Carmilla is so incredibly stupid over this girl that it's not even funny anymore. So she screws her courage to the sticking place and says:

“I'd love to move in with you, Laura.”

She gets an armful of excited girlfriend- and kisses her, because _goddamn_. The love of her life wants to wake up every day with her and that's the best fucking news in recorded history.

Laura ends up pushing her inside JP's guest room. Carmilla locks the door and presses Laura against the wood, hot hands going up and down her sides, feeling the goosebumps rise at her touch. Her breath is ragged and she nearly moans at Laura's insistent lips at her neck- so much so that she does let one escape when Laura's hands dip under her shirt.

It doesn't go any further than that because JP's loud voice makes its way through the music, saying something about not ruining the sheets. While Carmilla tries to tuck her shirt back in, Laura opens the door sheepishly.

“You live literally two blocks away,” he says, exasperated. “Call a cab or something.”

“Sorry.” Carmilla's tone makes it obvious she doesn't actually mean it.

“We'll contain ourselves.”

Carmilla waits until JP turns away to whisper by Laura's ear. “Speak for yourself.”

 

 

 

Sadly, moving in with her girlfriend is gonna have to wait a little bit. Laura books a pretty neat role on a space opera kind of movie- she's really carving her niche as a sci-fi and fantasy actress. It's fantastic to think it is possible nowadays, to attach yourself to movies other than action and drama- Laura is extraordinary even in that.

She keeps busy though. Perry, JP, and LaF are going to LA for some business stuff and they asked her to tag along with Kirsch- Danny ends up coming too just for the Hell of it.

Carmilla and Kirsch often start the day a bit earlier than the others- Carmilla because Laura's timezone is whack and she ends up calling at like six AM. Kirsch rises with the dawn and, since they're at a hotel, he can't just decide to work out like he does at home.

LaFontaine and JP burn in the first three days- they stay in shade with Perry, often times sipping on fancy drinks, and watch them swim. Carmilla, after a while, starts sitting with them too, because the sycamore-height duo has too much energy.

People recognize her a lot. More than she's used to. She shyly signs things- like phone cases and towels and even a straw hat once, and takes pictures. The fans usually then bow out, thanking her profusely, and let her go back to what she was doing.

They go to a comedy show at a Friday night; she's just hung up with Laura when someone taps her arm.

“Excuse me,” says a girl. She looks like a teenager, with bright purple hair and jeans. “Are you Carmilla Karnstein?”

“Yes.”

The girl squeals a little- she'll never get used to that. She dutifully takes a selfie with her. When she's about to leave, the girl asks:

“Do you know how Laura is?”

Carmilla blinks. “Oh- um, she's great. Filming a lot.”

“We kind of miss her. She hasn't been online.”

“I'll tell her. She'll post a flurry of pictures- half of them of pretty flowers, I'm sure.”

The girl leaves after thanking her- Carmilla already knows she'll post the picture everywhere. She texts Laura and gets a couple of heart emojis before her girlfriend has to go to sleep.

As the gang finally catches up, Carmilla lets herself sigh. She kind of misses her too.

 

 

 

 

Yes, Carmilla. Meet her father. That sounds like an stupendous idea.

She is such an idiot.

Mr. Hollis' neighborhood is the kind she'd dreamed of as a kid. Quiet street, white-picket fence, mowed lawn, a porch. There are pots of flowers and even a garden gnome with a shovel, who stands guard by the stairs. A rare sunbeam blinks down on the duo, lighting up Laura's already shining face, and casting a glow on the red-tiled roof.

Before Laura can knock on the green door, Carmilla sucks in a breath. Laura glances at her, confused, but raises her hand again.

“What-” she chokes. “What if he hates me?”

What if all parents hate her- what if that's just how it goes? What if Mr. Hollis' believes her to be a bad influence too, or that she isn't nearly good enough to date his daughter?

“He won't,” Laura says. “Dad'll love you.”

“How do you know that?”

Laura knocks on the door. “Because you love me.”

There's not enough time to breathe before the door opens and Laura gets swept up into a hug. Her father is a good head and shoulders taller than both of them- his hair is light-brown with a good bit of gray speckled in, and he's got an impressive beard. When he puts his daughter down, she sees Laura's eyes in his.

“Dad, this is Carmilla. My girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Hollis.”

He shakes her hand- his grip is strong. She matches it. “Good to meet you, Carmilla. Come on in.”

The inside of his house is just as homey as she expected. A fluffy rug on the floor, big leather couch, a large TV. Some knickknacks about the room, on top of shelves and side tables. The walls are white, the floor a deep mahogany. There's a clock ticking somewhere.

“Your dad's house is nice.” She tells Laura. Mr. Hollis walks over to the kitchen, to pour them tea.

“Always thought it's cramped. I asked if he wanted a bigger one, but he refuses.”

“It makes sense- he lives alone.”

Laura's response is cut short, for Mr. Hollis calls them over. Carmilla follows her into the kitchen, sitting on a dining chair after Mr. Hollis hands them the hot mugs. It's still four o'clock- not nearly dinner time, and if he wants them to sit it means _talking_.

She's gripping her cup so tightly it might break.

The thing is- a house like this, a real, _lived-in_ house, is not something she's used to. Like, there is her home, but it's not a family's house, nor a parents'. The only real reference to one she's had is her childhood home; a sterilized, cold house with cold linoleum floors and only her footsteps as sound. Carmilla doesn't understand the whole thing, how Mr. Hollis has pictures of Laura on the walls and that his shelves have childhood trophies and the cookie jar by the refrigerator.

And these are things she's never spoken much of, not even to Laura. Things she knows Laura will never really understand, because she's _got_ a parent, when Carmilla hasn't had any.

“When are we putting your tree up?” Laura asks Mr. Hollis.

He sits down with a grunt. “Whenever you're free.”

Carmilla smiles- last year Laura had a week of wearing only hideous Christmas sweaters. She hopes not to get roped into it this year, though that's a long shot.

“Did you already get yours?”

Laura looks at Carmilla a bit hesitantly. “I don't know if we're having a tree.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Carmilla says. Obviously. “Though I don't think there's room for a giant one like you had last time.”

“That tree really was big. Dad helped me take it upstairs.”

“We can get one next weekend.”

Christmas has never been a big deal for her; now it will be.

Mr. Hollis eyes her across the table- Carmilla thinks over what she said, looking for something weird she might've done, but nothing pops up. “If you want, though. Unless you wanna go with your father?”

Laura looks between them. Before she can answer, though, her father says:

“Mrs. Wallerton from two doors down asked for my help picking a tree, so I'll do that then.”

He hasn't actively spoken to Carmilla yet and that makes her nervous. Why on Earth did she think this was a good idea?

Carmilla turns soft eyes to her girlfriend. “You're stuck with me, Hollis.”

“What a terrible fate,” she says, her words bellied by the smile on her face. “Going out with Grinch.”

She rolls her eyes on instinct. “Just because I didn't want to wear a sweater-”

“It was so cute though-”

“It had two different puns on it _and_ a Santa wearing a trucker hat.”

“Puns are great! You laugh at them, don't lie.”

“I laugh because you're into them and it's funny.”

Laura pouts. “That's not nice.”

“You're cute, cupcake.”

“Will you wear a sweater this time?”

Damn. She can't deny her at any time, especially when her father is in the room. “Fine.”

She finishes her tea and stays silent as Laura talks to Mr. Hollis. He watched their whole interaction and didn't say a word, and she can't figure out if that's a good or a bad thing. She's hoping for the former, though history points otherwise.

“At least tell me what happens next episode.”

Laura shakes her head vehemently at her father's question. “No spoilers.”

“Will you tell me, then, Carmilla?”

Mr. Hollis is looking at her- a jolt of adrenaline prods her to speak. “I'm sorry, sir, but I'd rather not sleep on the couch.”

He nods. “Smart choice.”

Carmilla tries to help set the table, but the two Hollis stare her down to submission. They talk about menial things, like the neighbor's dog and the faulty upstairs sink, but they all fascinate her. Mr. Hollis brings out their steaks and they sit, Carmilla still silent.

But then she eats Mr. Hollis' steak, and she just has to say, “This is very good, sir.”

He lights up exactly like Laura – they're so similar it's scary – and proceeds to tell her how he made it. Laura looks bored as hell, poking at some broccoli, but Carmilla _really_ likes to cook and listens intently, asking questions ever so often.

“I'm glad one of you doesn't live out of takeout.” He tells them, side-eyeing his daughter.

“Hey!”

Carmilla smirks at Laura's pout.

 

 

 

Christmas lights adorn the Perry household. Perry put up stockings, baubles, and even a few Santas. The true star of the day, though, is her tree- so tall it reaches the second storey of her house. It shines under the chandelier.

“Someone looks tired.”

Carmilla turns from admiring the tree to glance at LaFontaine. “Hollis kept me up.”

LaFontaine fake-gags at Carmilla's smug grin. “You two are gross.”

“We just have a healthy sex life- you should try it.”

“My sex life is just _fine_ ,” they huff. “I'd just rather not have _very_ noticeable hickeys.”

“I wear them with pride.”

“Who knew Laura had it in her.”

Carmilla's smirk grows larger. “She has them too. In other places.”

“Ew-” they groan loudly, drawing Laura and Perry's attention to them. “She's like my sister!”

Her laugh is louder than expected. Maybe she's had too much eggnog, but hey- if there's a time to be jolly it is today. Laura walks over to them with both Perry and Danny; between them, Laura looks so _short_ Carmilla just has to hug her.

“Hey,” Laura giggles. “Why the hug?”

“Can't I hug my girlfriend?”

She makes to let go but Laura clings. “Please continue.”

LaFontaine pulls up their phone. “Look at the camera!”

Laura's grin is blinding; Carmilla's is close-mouthed, the one she gets when she's too happy to express it. They must look hilarious, with matching Christmas sweaters and Laura's Santa hat blocking half her face, but it's cute. After the click, they all huddle around the tree – LaF, Perry, JP, Danny, and Kirsch – and hug the duo, LaF just managing to get half of Kirsch's face into frame.

She asks LaF to send her the first picture.

“Hey, love,” she says, holding Laura back before they go into the dining room. Her girlfriend is glowing- they've been through so much, so many early calls and long-distance fights, through time-zones and paparazzi, and she kind of just wants to tell everyone. “Do you mind if I post this?”

She proves Carmilla's conviction of her ever-rising beauty; Laura gets this wondering look, and it's like the light in the room goes all into her eyes, which shine brighter than the Christmas star. Laura slips her left arm around Carmilla's waist and pulls out her own phone.

“Only if I can Instagram this too.”

And she kisses her. The world never fails to stop, her breath always taken away. When it ends, Laura points upward- mistletoe hangs from the ceiling. LaF must've put it up.

She puts up the picture of them hugging after dinner, after marveling at it the whole night. Laura just looks so _happy_ it is startling to realize it's because of her. The caption says _'_ _Where we love is home / Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts'_ ; she endures Danny's teasing afterwards with grace.

Laura's is of them kissing- an innocent peck, Carmilla half-smiling, the mistletoe poking into frame. She gets why they've been called adorable together. Laura's reads: _'I owe LaF one for this sneaky mistletoe.'_. And, while they're on a cab back to their apartment, where they'll cuddle under their sheets, Laura's head under her chin, Carmilla feels light.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you thought- either here or at my tumblr (same user)  
> thanks for reading!


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